So, I just got back from a date and the discussion at dinner was…dating. Specifically, why gay men don’t really date that much or, when they do, they don’t seem to date well. By that I mean, gay dates can be the epitome of disaster. After dessert, we discussed it more at his place. Here’s the take away….
First, if you’re a gay man looking for romance, remember: be a man. By this I mean, you’re not a woman. You’re not some delicate little flower who needs to be courted. You’re a dude and you need to act like one. Don’t bring a bestie with you to chaperone your first date (it was amazing that he and I both had stories to tell about this). Don’t expect him to reassure you if you’re shy, nervous, and unsure of yourself–that’s not his job. Grow a set or go home.
Second, it’s a date–but it’s a gay date–so, be prepared for sex. Look, we’re guys and we know why we’re doing this. Let’s grab our dinner, get a drink, talk about some trivial bullshit, then break out the harness and chaps. (Hint: You should already be wearing a jockstrap, bro). If you have some hangup against sex on the first date, you’re taking your cues from straight people and you should probably stop doing that.
Third, don’t fall in love. We don’t really have a lot of information to go on with gay relationships apart from what they aren’t (straight) and what they should never be (whirlwinds of romance and passion). Sure, you may want to see him later, but acting like one dinner and a fuck means you’ll be together forever just cheapens love and makes forever seem worse than it already does.
So he and I had sex and then I went home. I’ll call him this weekend and see what’s up. Otherwise, it was just a date with a guy mature enough to handle himself; that’s always a pleasant thing.